confusion in the simplest state

Have you ever noticed that Christians pray selfish prayers? We're so funny when it comes down to it. "God, please heal my mothers cancer." "God I really want this job" "God, help our house to sell" but then we end it off with a simple phrase that makes it sound like we're not really as bad as we sound... "if it be Your will."

The reason I mention this, is because I have found myself praying these prayers a lot lately. When Jordan and I started looking for a place to move to, everyone kept asking me if I had been praying about it. And, honestly, I would answer yes. However, my prayers where selfish prayers. "Lord, please let this next place be the one. Jordan and I really need a place to live and this place seems perfect. I pray that all the paperwork will go through and the time frame is what we need.... if it be Your will."

But then suddenly, when the ICY opportunity was brought to my attention, I found myself praying a different type of prayer. "Lord, show me which way to go. If this is Your plan for me, God, open doors and shut the others." Slowly, over just this last week, I've seen some doors close and many others open. The ICY doors were open from the first day, however I was terrified to step through them. I had to cling to the faith that this was where God was leading me. A couple of days ago, I started filling out the application, and strangely enough I'm already almost done. The questions (which were actually pretty difficult) seemed to be fairly easy to answer. However, that isn't all.

All the while, Jordan and I were still looking for apartments. We wanted so badly to get out on our own and live in our own place that we were pushing the idea even when the doors all around us were closing. Then tonight, Jordan and I finally talked about the fact that we didn't see this happening. After a long discussion and a few other plans on what to do next (not that there was much to discuss, considering her only other option is to move back home, and my other option was to move to Texas), we decided to let go of the moving out idea for now.

Then I started thinking, why would God be shutting this door for me? Well, what about ICY? I wasn't planning on going for another year, but what if I were to put my application in now? What if God was wanting me overseas sooner then in a year? And what do I do until then? Now that's confusion in the simplest state...

Email!

I got an email back from Colin (the director of ICY) today. He answered a few of my questions I had and I'm still waiting on an email back from Darin (the director of the UK branch) in the next few days. But I thought I'd put this up for you guys to read too.

Dear Shelley,

It was really good to hear from you. I will do my best to answwr your questions briefly by email but if you'd like a call to chat them through some more I'd be very happy to do this too.

First of all, I was looking into either the Bachelors or the Missions Leaders Course... The missions leaders course actually sounds more appealing to me, but I'm not quite sure on the difference. It sounds like the missions leaders course is more hands on and on the field where as the bachelors is more study and classes... but the classes sound like ones I would be very interested in. Are any of those classes included in the missions leaders course (or does the missions leader course even take classes)? Also, does the missions leaders course give you a degree or diploma if it's unaccredited? I'm definitely more interested in the ministry and missions of it all, so would the missions leader course be better?

This is a really hard one. You have summed up everything about the two courses, except I should say that the missional course does have cleasses and from time to time merges with the Bachelors. We offer a diploma for it but this is in house and therefore doesn't carry the same weight the B(Th) and masters qualifications do. If your focus is ministry then the Missional course may be better for you, but to be honest we only really want those who are ministry focused on the Bachelors too. You can of course join in and make up your mind once here. Your registration for the B(Th) might be delayed by a couple of months but that isn't a big deal.

Second, as for the funding, how do people usually raise all the money? The website mentioned something about fund raising, so do they usually raise it all themselves or ask for donations? Do they pay their own way through, like college, or have supporters? And for the missions leaders course, I know it's cheaper, (only $1000) but does that mean that's all you pay or do you pay the whole $2200 and give the rest to missions experiences? Does that money have to be paid up front or can it be paid over time?

The prices quoted are the prices you pay per year. You don't pay any more, and actually of course do receive a small weekly allowance. How you raise that funding is up to you. Some fund raise, (and we do have a scheme to help with that!), some have savings. Because you are on the field, fund raising is very valid and possible. We prefer the money up front because we need to pass it on. However we can make exceptions to this as long as we have a plan in palce in advance.

Also, once you've been accepted, and it's time for the church placement, what if they don't find on for you? Do they just wait until one becomes available or are you automatically taken out of the program? What is the average time frame from the time someone sends in an application to the time they start?

Again an excellent question. We try to only accept folk we know will be accepted by a church placement and we constantly get better at this. However there are blips. We tend not to throw you out of the program, unless we sense that we really aren't going to find you a palcement and then it would be wrong to keep you waiting. We take folk on in September, January and May, and normally would need an application processed at least two months before the next start date if we are realistically to sort a placement. The process can therefore take between 3-6 months.

What kind of hands on experience do you get? Ministering to other cultures or just in your local church? And while in the local church, are you working with children, teens, or young adults? I know it probably depends on the situation and the church, but what kind of opportunities do they have in their local church (speaking, leading, discipling, etc.)?

We are local church focused, and as far as we can try to match placement with gifts, although this doesn't always work as smoothly as we would like. You will need to be a bit of an all rounder when it comes to youth ministry. As far as the cross cultural element is concerned, if you are coming to the UK, you will discover it is all pretty cross cultural, although some of our placements are more so than others.

Where in the UK are people placed? The website mentioned some places (London, Oxford, etc.) but is it just in those cities or are there other churches in smaller places?

We do have a mix of rural and suburban.

I know the churches supply the housing but where do they live? Do they have host families, live on their own, or have college housing type buildings?

Again it is varied, but most live with host families.

Shelley, thanks for these questions. We'll pray hte Lord leads you very clearly as you seek Him for His way ahead. Don't hesitate to contact me if you want to know more.

Every blessing,

Colin

The first big step

So, the search for more answers continues as I chug along the journey to serve God. I sent an email to Colin, the director of ICY, and have not heard anything back quite yet. However, after talking to my family, friends, and people at church, I feel very positive about this opportunity. I have decided to go ahead and take the first big step and fill out an application. I don't know if I will get accepted (I heard the application process is long and difficult, here's an explanation of it) but I am willing to give it a try. I began filling out the application tonight. I got most of the basic stuff filled out... but then I came to a question about my gifts and passions. This took some time to think (I don't like writing about myself). After a lot of of writing and rewriting, and a long talk with my mom, I got it figured out. Now, I have the rest to finish... thankfully I have a while before I have to turn it in.

If you have anymore questions, there is a page of frequently asked Q/A. It really gave me some good answers to my questions (even ones that I didn't know I had.)

Thanks for the prayers and I'll keep you updated!

Some more information...

This is an email from the guy incharge of ICY. My friend Becca (one of my students from last summer in Scotland, who went on another Royal Servants trip this year and found out about ICY over the summer when the met Darin and his wife. She was the one that brought it to my attention and has also been looking into it) forwarded this to me so I could see what answers to her questions he gave. I'm planning on sending him an email from myself in the next few days to answer some of my own questions.

> Hi Becca!
> Glad to hear that you are back home and that you are
> interested in chatting
> some more about ICY. Whooohooo!
>
> I'm sure it was weird the first morning you woke up at
> home without 40 other
> teammates around you? I remember those days were not fun
> to re-adjust.
>
> ICY...you can always go to the website (www.icy.org.uk) to
> get more info but
> the UK specific stuff is a few clicks away. (we¹re still
> working on a UK
> specific website) To make it easier, here is a simple
> breakdown:
>
> It's for people who want to train in youth ministry and
> who have a heart to
> work with teenagers in a local church context. Much of the
> ministry will be
> aimed at non-Christian teenagers because less than 1% of
> teens here in the
> UK go to church. Can you say mission field?!
> * Trainees can undertake a 3 year Bachelors degree in
> practical theology
> or an MA in Missional Leadership
> * the courses are taught at 6 different week-long
> conferences throughout
> the year (approx every 2 months)
> * This allows the trainees to work in a local church
> setting in a nearly
> full-time setup whilst doing their degree
> * In between conferences you read and write essays on
> your own with
> feedback available from tutors
> * Much of the degree is earned by doing practical youth
> ministry
> * The church covers room, board, ministry expenses, and
> a bit of pocket
> money
> * Students have to pay £2200/year (approx $4400)
> tuition fees and
> purchase their plane ticket over here
> * Trainees are placed in a Œcluster¹ of trainees in
> the same
> geographical area who are doing the same thing
> * A cluster leader oversees the support and training
> development
> * Students apply and churches apply. Churches
> interview accepted
> applicants and we try to match up with Œbest fit¹
>
> Your specific question about Œhow do you know if you will
> get put with a
> host family or a place of your own?¹ is a good one. You
> can¹t really
> dictate that. Each church makes their own decision on
> this. Most of the
> trainees live with a host family. And the question about
> allowance is good
> too. This money is in addition to your food budget. So
> the church covers
> your housing and food and gives you some pocket money on
> top of that.
> (usually around $200-$250/month) You will not get rich, but
> at least you
> will not come out with big debts from a degree.
>
> What would you do in a church?
> Most of the churches we work with take on a trainee because
> they really have
> a heart to reach young people, but do not have a lot of
> money to put towards
> paying someone (youth ministry as a profession is fairly
> new here) and do
> not have the expertise to raise somebody up. So most in
> our ICY family are
> pioneering youth ministry in churches that do not have a
> large existing
> youth group. So if you think missionary to a jungle tribe
> that hasn¹t been
> reached before it¹s probably a lot closer to reality than
> American church
> youth pastor...well, without the snakes and strange
> diseases!
> You can do ministry in schools here as a Christian youth
> worker. So most of
> the trainees spend a few hours a week in the school,
> building relationships
> through outreach groups or mentoring. Then if there are a
> few teenagers in
> the church, it¹s starting to bring them together to grow
> in their faith and
> form a group identity. Usually it¹s helping out on a
> Sunday morning with
> youth or slightly younger than youth. Then finding ways to
> start groups for
> kids from the schools-work to come and hear the gospel and
> transitioning
> those who make commitments into small groups that will help
> them keep
> growing in their faith.
> Our vision is to raise up the next generation of youth
> ministers who will
> build youth disciple-making movements...so raising up young
> people and
> creating ministries who will make disciples...who make
> disciples...who make
> disciples...which should sound pretty familiar from your
> summer and is the
> only way the huge population of non-Christian young people
> here will ever
> encounter Jesus!
>
> Hope this helps and shows you the opportunities for God to
> use you here and
> get some good training at the same time.
>
> Let¹s keep talking and keep asking questions,
> - darin

I know it's a lot to think about (I'm a little overwhelmed myself) but I just wanted to give you the same information that I was getting. If you have any questions let me know so that I can possibly put them in my email to Darin. This really means a lot to me to get the input of my family and friends... and the prayer support too!

The facts of life

I must admit I feel a bit lost in life right now... Let me explain...

A year ago, I had everything figured out. I had a good job, good place to live, however I had nothing in my future because I was simply just waiting around for Andrew... To me, everything here was temporary. Then a year later, my world came shattering into pieces when I realized that to him, there was no future. Little did I know that this was going to be a blessing. God has shown me lately that I need to become my own person in Him and find out who I am fully in Christ before He can give me the fullness of His will. So I began searching for myself in Christ. After some road blocks and many wrong turns, I finally landed on the answer that I had always known was there. I found out a long time ago that God was calling into missions... At first, I didn't want anything to do with it... I knew it would be a hard life and honestly didn't want to live it. But slowly over the years and the experiences in missions that I have had, God has shown me the rewards that come from living this life, whether it be long term or temporary. And although I had stopped listening to this call for a while because of things people were telling me and other things that I wanted in life, I began to think about it again these last few months. Now, I have no idea where God is calling me, but I know I have been called. Is it here in the U.S. or overseas? Am I going to Canada or all the way to China? A little while ago, I took a big step in this journey to follow Christ and applied to Moody, and as much as I would like the achievement of getting into Moody, I also know that the odds aren't in my favor. Then tonight I talked to a friend... This was a trusted friend, one that knows me, I dare say, better then I know myself. She told me of a program overseas that is a youth ministry training program. It's a three year program and it will earn you a degree... now, the only problem is, three years?! Overseas?! Already?! I don't know if I'm ready for that yet... And maybe I'm not. She just thought I'd like to look into it... Even if I don't want to even think about something like that. But just in case it is where God is calling me, I'll learn up on it and get some more information... who knows, maybe a year from now I'll be heading off to another country for a few years.

"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." Ephesians 4:11-14

Please be praying with me about this decision... It may or not be right for me... but either way, it's worth leaving the door open. If you would like to look into this with me, the website is http://icy.org.uk/ and I would love to hear what you think. Thank you all!

I love it when the Sun Shines!

Early morning, July 7th God decided to bring a miracle into this world...

He is by far the most precious thing I have ever seen... except Lydia ;)
However, he's tiny... almost as small as I was! He was born at 4lb 12oz and was 16 in long. Pray that he gains weight and strength... and pray for mom and dad too as they welcome this new joy into their lives.




*sigh* He will always have a piece of my heart!

Woohoo!

And we're finally rolling!

For about a year and half now, I have been doing all of computer type jobs on an already "busted before it became mine" computer. This made it very hard to get anything done :-( And now it's been about 6 months that I have been waiting to get my new computer... well, actually this one is old too, but not by much and it's in really good shape! So, yesterday, I claimed into my possessions and am now a happy owner of a new computer! Now, I don't have to wait 20 minutes for the thing to turn on or even when it does, hope it works long enough for me to get anything done... I won't have to worry about it shutting off at random times or freezing and then freaking out... *sigh* technology is supposed to make life easy, so why is it so difficult?

ps~ that means that I'll get to post now!